You've got to be shitting me. Artisanal Toast? "Artisanal" goddamn TOAST is a trend now. There's officially no reason to try to save our species. Let's just send the Earth crashing into the sun and be done with it.Also, “Artisinal Kool-Aid” is on a page referenced in comments.
The most rage-inducing part about Artisanal ferretbuggering Toast has to be the price: The Mill sells theirs for $4 a slice, and I think a blood vessel just popped in my brain. Apparently, there are places in LA and New York which sell pieces of toasted fucking bread with ricotta and jam on them for upwards of $7. Like you do for toast.
This is a step too far, Hipsters. This is a step too goddamn far.
ETA: Yes, guys. I'm now aware that there was an NPR/This American Life/other media outlet story about the lady who invented Artisanal Toast, and that it was inspirational and uplifting and incredible and that it brings unicorns back to life and travels through time to go kill Hitler. You can stop linking me to it now, please.
Finally, I found this from Hannah Goldfield in The New Yorker:
In the case of artisanal toast, the backlash seems directed more at the societal phenomenon it evinces than at the food itself. Who doesn’t like toast? The economic and moral objections to it could be used against many of the things we consume in restaurants—coffee, for instance—and Clement admits that the toast she sampled at Tallulah’s, a café in Seattle’s Capitol Hill, was excellent. Artisanal toast is hardly the first harbinger of our food obsession, or even necessarily the most egregious, but it’s become a scapegoat for a growing, broader cultural backlash; the toast that broke the camel’s back.