Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.The whole thing is available at http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/15comicsans.html.
Both this and the previous link are from Felix Salmon's blog at Reuters.