January 20th, 2010

Sometimes, discretion is the better part of valor.

I'm ever mindful that I'm engaged in a conversation with the people who have decided to put me on their default view. I think I have, over time, decided that I need to follow the rules of polite society when posting.

I have nonetheless angered a number of people who have flounced out of my journal and my life. This is sad, but unavoidable. I am gradually embracing the fact that I piss some people off. (I am sometimes more glib, and say "I'm embracing my inner asshole" but that phrase has some awkward anatomical implications.)

On the other hand, I'm also trying to avoid one of the counter-fallacies redhound describes in passing in his oft-quoted Five Geek Social Fallacies, that of "Your Feelings, Your Problem":
Less commonly, people form a sort of counter-fallacy which I call "Your Feelings, Your Problem". YFYP carriers deal with other people's fallacies by ignoring them entirely, in the process acquiring a reputation for being charmingly tactless. Carriers tend to receive a sort of exemption from the usual standards: "that's just Dana", and so on. YFYP has its own problems, but if you would rather be an asshole than angstful, it may be the way to go. It's also remarkably easy to pull off in a GSF1-rich environment.
So there are things I consider saying that I find myself filtering out in my head, partly because I've decided that while I like tweaking people's assumptions I'd also like to continue having them read me.

As I don't care much for compartmentalizing my journal--and by implication, my life--by proliferating filtered groups, I think carefully about what I say, because it's going out to everyone on my flist, at least.

It's a balance. Sometimes, like now, I feel it somewhat constraining.

I post a lot about finance. Partly it's because I find it fascinating; it's the actions of a huge number of crazy primates chasing after abstractions. They're not very good at it, so their antics can be comical, as long as you're not within range of their flung feces.

But partly I realize that by posting about finance I can post about a subject sufficiently obscure that I can be snarky and yet not piss my friendslist off. I admit this is in no small part a reflection of the interests of my friendslist. Other readers, maybe I'd post more about politics. Or sex. I don't know.

I originally chose food for similar reasons.

I recognize that both finance and food can be triggering subjects for people; some of my friends have said as much. I'm sorry about that. I think they're less triggering than politics or sex, or relationships. I guess I could stick to transit and travel.

I suppose, thinking about it, that the subjects I currently write about I'm more likely to bore readers than anger them. And that's been okay, if limiting. I'm told this is a terrible way to approach writing; it's probably true, but the reverse comes hard.

Anyway, that's my navel-gazing for the moment.