August 2nd, 2007

Anger.

I deal poorly when people are angry with me.

I turn inward and become avoidant when anger is directed at me. I withdraw. This is perhaps understandable but not helpful. It makes discussion difficult, if not impossible, because I'm fearful and closed. Getting to talking takes longer than I wish, and sometimes never happens, because I'm afraid to approach until I have clear, unambiguous indication that the other party isn't angry and wants to talk. But often they're waiting for me to approach them. And sometimes they are still angry, but it's nonetheless a good idea to talk. I lack good coping mechanisms for this situation.

I need to figure out some other way of dealing with it. I encounter anger in my life, and avoiding it isn't an answer.

My own anger I have other issues about, but I'm making progress on them, I think.

All of this, of course, is a reaction to childhood experiences, but it's taken remarkably long for me to start putting the pieces together.